I don’t buy it Carl. Sorry you had to go through that embarrassment to get the but glad that you speaked up. Why doesn’t the medical field acknowledge and change? Agree / Focus, 8th free roam when there is more than 1 person present. I was not terribly shocked, but felt uncomfortable. Or one old fashioned math teacher who apparently didn’t get the memo that it was 1980, a new and wondrous agevin which the school board found they actually has a budget for anitomically correct medical dummies fornCPR and girls health class. Sarah confirmed that she is following up but doesn’t want to discuss the details on Instagram. I had trouble sleeping and focussing at my job, and ended up seeing a therapist for a few months. For me it’s mental preparation to lessen mental effects. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dr. Linda. We are distributing brochures about men and modesty in medical settings (http://patientmodesty.org/mensbrochure.aspx). As with any human trait, there is a continuum when we’re talking about modesty.  On one end of the spectrum are those guys who have no modesty whatsoever.  The healthcare system is fine as is for them.  On the other end are men who forego healthcare rather than have female nurses and techs for intimate care.  The system is failing those men.  Most men are somewhere in-between the two extremes. Every time a nurse needlessly exposes their patient and then goes off gossiping about their patient they are in direct violation of their own code of ethics. For many, it is a big deal and we should respect their modesty. The doctor arrives with scribe in tow and his 1st words are that he doesn’t have any male staff but that my privacy will be protected. Jim, the public schools where I grew up didn’t have pools and my family couldn’t afford for us to belong to the YMCA but then in Sept. 1971 I went off to a college where the boys were required to take a general fitness test and swimming test. I am one of those that doesn’t mind being seen or manipulated by either gender so I truly had no issues. That’s the only way to get change to occur. If there is any silver lining it is that you know you can speak up the next time. Men need the same gender treatment that is (demanded) by woman. But most guys have no modesty you say; it is a rarity to encounter a modest guy.  Not even close on the first point.  Correct on the second, but only because you didn’t know he was modest.  Most are afraid to admit it because doing so is not “manly”.  Societal norms say men are not supposed to be modest; that it is a sign of weakness.  Males are socialized from childhood that when faced with an embarrassing medical exam or procedure to “man up” making believe it doesn’t bother them.  To acknowledge embarrassment only serves to amplify it.  This is what they have been doing since their first sports physical in Middle School when the female NP hired by the school (with a female assistant by her side) does a genital exam.  Such a powerful message from the school is not forgotten. Your comment has now been posted. Knew exactly how to find it, and didn’t hurt the area, and leave me sore afterwards. SEE: was mandatory for freshman year and if you failed one of those tests you were assigned to remedial classes rather than being able to choose your phys. I’ve read & re-read your story. Tells me only let on tee shirt and socks. In the caption, she gives a detailed explanation of her experience. It seems that sex is the only context in which you feel that it is ok for a woman (and we are talking about adult women here) to see you nude. It’s well known that a not-insignificant percentage of female psychology majors are damaged girls looking for “answers.”That damage, at the very least, grazes the sexual realm. Ask woman if they would mind a trans-dural ultrasound, with 2 males present. Thank you for sharing your story. Her story has been met with both support and criticism. She was not happy with the dismissal. Something has to be done in the training of Females in Healthcare, to give males better treatment. He knew my area from having the same parts himself. Hi Lee; (This is referred to as an ambush, by the way) I was given a prostate exam in her presence. The temptation has got to be removed. If someone does that to you, you get their name and you report them. Dr. Linda, You own it to the men here to allow this to be printed. I thought it would just be raided up over my groin. For many men it’s humiliation happening daily. Thank you. You can be in the sitting or standing position, the balloon can be deflated and the catheter will just fall out. WE ARENT. Very well stated. I don’t know, nor care, what may be going on in his head when he is with me, but a female is, without a doubt, taking notice, comparing and will likely comment on to close associates, which I have known first hand to happen on many occasions. You were there for medical reasons, not to give them their sexual jollies. Such a rigid policy is likely to exacerbate the issue of male patients’ distrust of female providers. when a congressman or some wealthy rich guy goes to the hospital, both items are immediately tended to. Nurses are out there demanding respect from one another and everyone else. As a female, I’m the same in regards to preferring a male doctor/nurse. Oh, and if it’s your prostate, just raise and hold your legs like they’re in stirrups while you imagine the women in the room with you. The Urological surgeon was #2 in the nation. As a man, I prefer females for all exams! Currently, the Men’s Health Network is attempting to get a bill introduced in congress called the “Men’s Health Awareness and Improvement Act.”. Third offense, employee is fired. You have the right to be treated first and foremost as a human being. The reality may be that there simply is no male staff available, but even then you can demand that your exposure be minimized as to what is exposed, how long it is exposed, and to whom it is exposed. Dignity and self respect, however, are life-sustaining motivations I refuse to surrender, even to nurse’s and doctors who would rather have a discussion about my health insurance, than my health. He is the only naked person in the room and it is his exposure that he is concerned about, not your comfort. Regarding legal concerns, perhaps some kind of waiver could be provided in exchange for dropping the automatic requirement? You don’t have anything they haven’t seen, you don’t have anything special, are you afraid of women, we’re all professionals here, we have no modesty here etc. As for reviews, I left a very negative, truthful review of this hospital on a very popular website. At a time when he was at his weakest I know he was humiliated at some of his experiences. Our healthcare system just doesn’t want to hear or talk about them. “That was my last mammogram with this dude. These issues always come up under modesty issues. I’ve returned there several times and I am always put in the care of male staff. Here is a small success story as a result of speaking up. They stripped down, jumped in, washed up, got out, toweled off and put on some cleaner clothes handed to them by their mother or sisters. If you said yes to either question then nursing isn’t your calling, please find another career. Just as the doctor was beginning, the male nurse returned to the room prepared to do what he said he was going to do, and saw these five women surrounding my bed. I would love to know, from a female doctor, what her prospective is….knowing that the male patient will be uncomfortable with this. Regardless of what the patient may think, our ignorant medical community would still say without a doubt, that the male patient’s dignity was well respected. Care. admin. Finally, talk/write to all your elected officials and tell them the healthcare system accommodated women’s requests for change in the past. Healthcare now knows the kinds of changes we are looking for but, those changes are NOT going to come cheaply. the second account I requested to go for toilet break early one morning the nurse brought me a bottle to pee in and stood by my bed and stared whilst I proceeded to put my penis in the bottle and pee I was extremely embarrassed by both there actions. Use incentives if necessary. Facilities aren’t doing enough to protect their patients. just to know that they know may be some comfort. All the while Girls were ALWAYS allowed to keep their dignity, and wear swim wear. There were plenty of female nurses and techs present, but it was obvious they assign males to male patients. Choice, Privacy, Respect. Men and boys DO HAVE modesty, and for those of us who do want to be covered up, should be given the respect and choice to do so. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Went to UM where they were happy to accommodate me. for an intimate procedure. I have never heard of one or several girls being made to swim naked to satisfy the curiosity of their clothed brothers, friends, and a father. If you prefer opposite gender care for intimate related male issue just SPEAK UP and tell them. there’s a total of 17 plants, you gain 1 point for each right action you perform, lose 2 points for each mistake. Also, talk to hospital administration and express your discontent. Yet female assistants and technologists dominate in medical positions for the intimate care of men. Extend an arm as though needed for a test. I feel it is wrong for Female NPs to be hired to do such exams on young boys due to full genital exposure. Make it perfectly clear while you are talking that you want the entire who, what, when, where, and how of any test or procedure they want done. I’ll look again maybe in the filtered folder. She claimed that she usually makes every effort to preserve the privacy of any patient, a man or a woman, “but, you see… I’m dealing with very heavy workload due to a high number of patients, so it’s not always possible…” I asked her: “Will you leave the curtain open while performing an ECG to a female patient (wearing only a bra) due to heavy workload in the ER?”. Dr. Linda is on to something here by providing a place for men to speak up. https://www.elle.com/life-love/a28125604/nonconsensual-pelvic-exams-teaching-hospitals/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwjD4d-5vh8 I imagine the others, like me, had already been socialized through school and sports physicals that guys were not supposed to have any modesty nor any expectation of bodily privacy, so we all “manned up” pretending that it didn’t bother us. He left doors open and patients will enter by mistake while I was totally exposed! and Girls would peak in at them too. His nurse was HORRIBLE. Too many men are walking away from needed healthcare and most of the medical community could care less or they would have found a way by now to support male patients who want their privacy where intimate issues are concerned. The radiologist who was giving Sarah her ultrasound behaved in a way she felt was inappropriate. I should point out that Sarah Silverman is an attention grabbing comic whose first commitment is to publicity rather than the truth. I think that’s sexual discrimination, pure and simple. The one area that both male and female patients are concerned with is hospital clothing. I’m actually dying due to this. Within a minute the PA correctly told the MA that she did not require her assistance and sent her out of the room to another assignment. By the way, you are way out of line to suggest that I “enjoy” being exposed to females. I just feel more relaxed in room for some reason. Whether some guys think its sissy to ask for same gender care or not this is an ALL MALE issue and we need the support of ALL men if we are to break the wall that separates us from EQUAL care by a broken system. Perhaps urology practices attract voyeurs into those positions. We'd like to use cookies to help analyse, improve and personalise our service to you. Then she takes 10 to 15 minutes with the hand held device prodding and taking measurements. The questions were embarrassing. Hi Steve! I used my insurance providers website to find a clinic near home. A male tech doing the exam, and a male chaperone watching it all in full view. I remember them talking about one young and handsome man who was safely enough asleep that the women went into his room one by one to raise the covers and check him out. All while I am totally exposed. She knocked and came in. Though I haven’t experienced it I think I would be less inclined to allow nursing or other types of students in as observers for intimate exams or procedures. He thrashed and cursed, and was scolded for doing so because, I guess, the poor nurses and doctors were “offended”. Yes they’re human but there are certain things you just dont do to males or females. I send a letter to Patient Relations. It has been a very nice and highly alternative game! We were two naked dudes, which didn’t bother me at all, but I’m sure a female nurse would not have done that. – – – and have the modesty issue….. Next time Sarah…. It has a retractable front panel for patient preparation and procedural access. I hear what you are saying and it has to change. As you say, reactions vary from individual to individual, but the medical profession needs to be more aware that nudity and temporary loss of bodily privacy (especially in the presence of the opposite sex) can be triggers for serious emotional and psychological distress, for both men and women. Why don’t we see any clinics specifically for men’s healthcare needs opening up? By that I mean the female staff member may have spotted you in the lobby or going into the exam room, and knowing how long the procedures typically take roughly knew when to use a pretense to come into the room for a quick look. Tell me why when grown woman (female teachers) for example, only get a minimal sentence, as compared to a man when they have sex with under-aged boys? If you’ll follow me please, we’ll get you squared away. For example, Ireland uses male hospitalists to do male urinary catheterizations. I remember that as high school baseball players, a friend of mine and I stopped at his house after practice. I am 100% guaranteed there were gay guys present in those settings. There are several teams and the nurses do rotating with different jobs. Florence Nightingale once said “The very first requirement in a hospital is that it should do the sick no harm.” She also believed that a nurse’s ethical duty was first and foremost to care for the patient. Some men are more likely to seek or accept medical care for personal health issues if the staff (point of contact) is male [26]. They should help ease suffering rather than contribute to it. Today, it’s all about a paycheck. A female physician was sexually assaulting her male patients for years at a hospital in New Mexico and the OR staff never reported it. They don’t want them going somewhere else. As far as “A patient’s dignity (or lack of dignity):” would you say that a man’s ordeal would be less stressful if he had male caregivers instead of a sea of females if he so requested them? My neighbor is a shy and fit 23 year old man, he went in to a teaching hospital for an outpatient minor knee surgery. Ladies and gentlemen!, Yes, I am not really a prude, but this made me feel uncomfortable. To make out with you / To help you (Relationship Points Maya +1) Do you prefer same gender care for any intimate type test or procedure? I only wanted the board to make him give his male patients the option of wanting a gown if they chose to and they denied me that ! So for a long time now fully qualified men and male patients have had a very difficult time dealing with the healthcare industry. Good for you. Do you think this was because of different practices in different cities or it was related to just that medical office? These people had duties like assisting with problem patients, helping doctors with doing things like putting casts on patients, they transported patients to and from their rooms to various departments, they also shaved patients and provided other similar routine personal care, and they were also versed in setting up specialized hospital equipment such as bed attachments. The medical community knows and counts on this to be able to get away with all they do to men. Men are being discouraged left & right from applying for positions they are fully qualified for because they don’t want to break up their “all girls club”. Next imagine another female (your age) enters and casually views your private parts and then another. Knowing full well, I would be greeted with 2 female nurses to do this procedure before I went in,. I will not try to convince you that mine is better than yours. And embarrassment doesn’t equate to humiliation- isn’t that a bit extreme? mgr.? Until someone takes a case to court and goes all the way to verdict with it or by the power of their vote, force congress to mandate changes to the system, I’m afraid, our healthcare system will be allowed to keep their veil of secrecy and patients will remain at risk. This is to ensure that boys behave like perfect English Gentlemen to girls. When a patient is unconscious it is assumed they are giving “implied consent” to almost anything a caregiver wants to do to them. In the interim, there are ways to work around the shortage the problem is our medical community is to short sighted and set in their ways to do whatever it takes to get all their patients the best outcome possible from their ordeal. I had a physical a couple of weeks ago and my PCP (male) had with him a female scribe and two female med students. Don’t worry, you will not be mocked for asking for same sex technician. Because major consequences would follow! “Well”, she said, “it’s different…”. The only way men are going to reverse this situation is to speak up & use the power of their vote & force congress to to legislate changes to the system that will better protect men. Just like the ladies did with the rise of feminism. I understand I don’t speak for all men. Start giving them a choice of gender for doctor AND chaperone. Your female nurse friend like her female nursing colleagues are what they proudly call themselves the “World Champions” of gossipers. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. In the early ’80s, because of equal access laws, women began to be hired to do the same jobs the men did. Like she finally figured out there’s a naked man standing there. One specific garment that comes to mind is called a bilateral medical garment. The field needs to change fast in being sensitive to men in the exam room. Many HR departments today are run by women. It should have been a routine experience, but it left Sarah feeling tremendously uncomfortable. Been battling with the medical board about a urologist who would not give his male patients any gowns or any cover for modesty! I’m a grown woman and I’m fine. Promises made and broken; berated by the head urologist for making a “big deal” out of it; had 1st offending nurse enter the exam room on 2nd visit, while I waited, naked waist down, pretending to look for something; berated by office coordinator; told I would have the procedure performed by a “female” nurse.